Medium Articles in the Comedy Corner

Ever need some time to disconnect, let your mind go and become a bit distracted? Well we found a little hidden gem among the interwebs that is full or short entries from various artist on different topics relating about things… well that most of us have experienced or at least know someone who has done something like it.

The site is called Medium; Everyone’s stories and ideas. From the creators of Blogger, they launched Medium which is a destination for all types of writers to collaborate together and post their ideas, stories and views on one site. This is an open site where anyone can contribute and add in their own pieces.

Our favorite is the comedy corner, something to chuckle at when your at your desk and just laugh a bit! Check it out if you have some time to kill or need a pick me up! Here are a few of our favorites!

17 ways to be an asshole

1. Tuck your shirt into your jeans. Unless you’re a cowboy from Oklahoma, there’s never a reason to do this, it looks ridiculous.
2. Say “let’s touch base.” The word “base” can mean a lot of things, just say “talk to you soon”, donkey.
3. Don’t know what “up up down down left right left right b a start” refers to. You get a pass if you’re not a dude born between ‘76 — ‘84…otherwise, it’s your duty to know this code.
4. Eat quinoa. Dick move, eat rice.

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Jammy on sex

But saying this no matter what mind set you are in when having sex we have all experienced funny/awkward/annoying moments whist having sex weather it is something they say, do, or suggest! So I am going to list out examples some may be obvious others may surprise you. (not all from personal experience but some are).

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Things people may say:

1. ‘Pretend your raping me!’
2. ‘Leave the glasses on!’
3. ‘Your really hot I don’t no why I can’t get it up!’
4. ‘Don’t look at me’
5. ‘Pretend I’m your step sister and mum and dad’s just outside’
6. ‘(pull my hair) Oh shit it’s a wig’
7. ‘Wrong hole’

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How to make sure you’re an email moron

#1 Always start by inserting the recipient

Don’t ever make the mistake of sending off an email without a recipient.
Make it a rule to insert the recipient as the first thing. In that way your recipient might get lucky enough to get an extra mail with the missing link or PDF.

#2 Never triple check

Don’t bother to double or even triple check every new sentence. If you just live your life dangerously by running by your gut feeling of being perfect in the first take, you could end up writing something entirely new and artistic. You’re a genius. People are longing for your wisdom. Don’t wait! Get it out there!

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Dear Guy Who Just Made My Burrito:

Have you ever been to Earth?On Earth, we use the word “burrito” to describe a tortilla filled with things you eat. Pretty simple stuff, and I’m surprised you at least got that part right. My burrito was, in fact, filled with food. In this, you and I agree and are friends. But this is also where my lifelong hatred begins for you and anyone else whose brain has been repeatedly scrubbed with the same mixture of bleach and Pop Rocks as yours has. Because that should have killed you, but left you around long enough to do what you did to me today. Let me explain:

HEY BEANS IT’S JUST GOING TO BE YOU AND I FOR A FEW MINUTES UNTIL I CAN FUCKING EXCAVATE THE RICE FROM BENEATH YOU BUT BY THEN YOU WILL BE A FADING MEMORY OH HEY I WAS WRONG I’M IN THE FUCKING CHEESEOSPHERE NOW RICE MUST BE NEXT I HOPE IT’S NOT ANOTHER FUCKING SALSA POCKET.

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